Soaked Dida Skin ‘n’ Froze Half Didit

At first it didn’t bother me much
but then I figured something was badly wrong
when even the crowd from CBS admitted
their weather was as bad as in St. John’s.

And icebergs, hardly a one to see,
except the scattered piddly one moving back and forth.
Rumour has it the rain washed them all away,
or the wind blew them back up north.

But worse again, a blocking high
that created this mess, according to “the Snod
will make double digits for the rest of July
as rare as large Atlantic cod.

Prince Philip Drive, just outside  my window at work. In the distance you can (almost) see Mount Scio behind the HSC.

Prince Philip Drive, just outside my window at work. In the distance you can (almost) see Mount Scio behind the HSC.

So those on holiday and the poor unlucky
tourists who have ventured to our shores
can forget visiting the capes, the beaches and the woods,
and are instead amusing themselves indoors.

“Good weather for ducks.” You might remark.
To which I would respond
that I already looked and noticed not
a single one left out on Burton’s Pond.

Burton's Pond. This time of the year it's normally teeming with ducks.

Burton’s Pond. This time of the year it’s normally teeming with ducks.

And upon taking a closer look
it occurred to me they had become so stressed
about the sorry state this place is in,
like so many others here, they must have moved out west.

And just the other evening there came a knock
a big fellow, creating quite a din.
I opened the door and found a young bull moose
saying, “Sir, I’m cold and wet. Would you kindly let me in.”

So cold and wet even the moose want to come indoors.

So cold and wet even the moose want to come indoors.

But I suppose that it’s not all bad.
It’s true you hardly see any skeets.
They’re all at home shivering by the stove
instead of terrorizing our streets.

And even the RNC admits
that the crime rate’s heading down
it’s just as well ‘cause no officer wants to be
out walking the beat in this town.

Of course if you wonder why the criminals are
not active it’s not hard to see why.
The face masks they use must stay rolled over
on their heads to keep them warm and dry.

And the silence! For the skies once alive
with aircraft heading for YYT
are as empty as the fishing banks
that lie beneath our once teeming seas.

Good luck getting in or out of St. John's

Good luck getting in or out of St. John’s

The planes can’t land so they turn around
for Gander or for Halifax
short runways, low ceilings, rain, drizzle and fog
give most flights the axe.

The back nine at Pippy Park. Care for a round?

The back nine at Pippy Park. Care for a round?

And the golf courses,
sure none of them ever was in better shape,
all neatly trimmed with no divots or holes,
their beauty  leaves your mouth agape.

From atop Mount Scio looking out at the broad expanse of St. John's. The harbour is clearly visible there in the distance, top left :-)

From atop Mount Scio looking out at the broad expanse of St. John’s. The harbour is clearly visible there in the distance, top left 🙂

Don’t be such a sook complaining that
it’s too damp and that you won’t play in the rain
grab your father’s fishing oil-clothes and sou’wester
‘cause he’ll never use them again.

And you’ve got the perfect excuse for not cutting the lawn,
cause the grass is too wet to mow
and the car never needs washing, and besides
there’s no beach or park that’s fit to go.

At least the gardens are all washed nice and green.

At least the gardens are all washed nice and green.

But enough of this I’ve still got summer work to do,
like wringing out my pants,
making sure the roof doesn’t leak,
and draining rainwater off my plants.

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About Maurice A. Barry

Coordinator: Teaching and Learning Commons, Faculty of Education, Memorial University of Newfoundland, Parent & Husband. eLearning consultant/coordinator. Program Development Specialist - eLearning (Department of Education; Retired). Writer: over 40 Math/Physics texts/webs. Developer & Manager of web content. Geek. Not into awards but loves comments.
This entry was posted in Newfoundland and Labrador, poetry/songs and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to Soaked Dida Skin ‘n’ Froze Half Didit

  1. Michelle H says:

    Yup. That was us last year. Walk across the lawn and your shoes got soaked with the water squishing out the ground. A lot of Saskatchewan was in an official state of emergency for flooding. I hope August has friendlier weather for you folks.

  2. Mary says:

    Send some rain out our way. We’re under level three water restriction out here now – fires still on the go. Wishing for a happy medium – more balanced climate all round!

  3. jennypellett says:

    Gosh how miserable for you all, I had no idea that you could experience such chilly weather in the so called summer – I thought that was reserved for the UK 😀
    And while I do sympathise, your poem is highly amusing. Gave me a chuckle over my cornflakes.

  4. Amazing. Although I do long for a few days rain in summer. We had some rain one day in Spain in June or July I think. Such fun and novelty. Didn’t last long.

    I love the damp misty photos though.

    Interesting the plane from Dublin was scheduled on time.

  5. Loving the moose, so very cool. We have the same weather and its winter here. Hope you get some sunshine soon. Im sick of our rain, But then again, we have had some sunny days.

  6. Tiny says:

    Very nice and poetic complaint to the weather gods – with some silver lining. Sounds exactly how the weather has been in Finland and Sweden this summer. Hardly double digits and buckets of rain. The “sun vitamin” needs to come from a bottle for the fall and winter. I’d love to send some warmth from here…but as it’s not possible, I’ll send warm greetings instead.

  7. Wow — you really weren’t kidding when you said the weather is not nice. Maybe the gorgeous weather I sent your way will arrive soon. #letshope

    Fun rhymes!

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