It’s funny what a day can mean.
A good night’s rest can restore the sheen
on a life that sometimes leaves you shaking your head in disbelief.
I suppose it’s the stress we put on ourselves
as we channel our inner Santas and elves,
or maybe it’s just old Krampus who loves to hand out some seasonal grief.
Yesterday I should’ve figured out before
I passed in through my work’s front door
that the events of the day would go in a way that was not exactly what I’d planned.
It started when I arrived a bit late,
fumbled the card for the parking gate,
and watched that stick of wood on my car’s hood repeatedly slammed.
With the stick cracked off and my car banged up
I figured I’d calm my nerves with a nice Timmy cup.
I stood in the queue with the dishevelled few who’d just been doing laps over in the pool.
But as I crossed the walk to my work home
a driver heedlessly texting on a cellphone
almost mowed me down and I dropped my Joe on the ground just like a proper fool.
I’d no sooner entered the office and hung up my coat
when a gaggle of malcontents were there at my throat
Saying I marked them too hard & they were thus barred from getting their obligatory A’s.
When I offered that in class they were seldom seen
they took off downstairs to report me to the dean.
My tongue I restrained but I barely refrained from setting the papers on my desk ablaze.
Now that said, it would’ve been a good thing to do
as the thermostats ‘round here are set on minus two.
That and and also my wretched window simply refused to close.
I flicked the switch; nar light came on
except the light on my printer that said “toner’s all gone.”
Wonderful! Uploading marks here in the dark with all my fingers froze!
So I went to my computer, but to my chagrin
it was dead as all and I could not log in.
I sat there in a panic, with a problem titanic: how to upload my grades to banner1.
A sensible answer was nowhere to be found
so I figured it’d be best if I was homeward bound.
It seemed like a crime to be wasting my time in this unproductive manner.
I packed up my stuff and back home I went.
My patience all gone and my energy spent.
No Christmas tree, nor greenery could restore my total lack.
I turned off the phone’s notifying wails.
Didn’t even bother checking on my emails,
Traumatized and hoping no-one’d recognize I was nothing but a hack.
So I approached today with some trepidation
remembering the previous days’ vexations.
And, on my depart, I swore in my heart I’d have a better day at work.
And upon opening my office door
I found a note from IT upon the floor, saying,
“your computer is fine & it’ll be that way every time; you forgot to plug it in you jerk!”
And in just a few minutes I had my marks uploaded.
My email came online; not a thing had exploded.
Then the carpenter dropped by, with a glint in his eye, the window and lights he repaired.
And he casually mentioned, he’d just got free
from mending the gate for parking lot three,
where some omadon went and used his card wrong. “Too stunned to work here!” he declared
And I found a card with a thank-you note.
B’ys for a funk there’s no better antidote.
It made up for the fray from the previous day and all of the complaining
So ‘til next year no classes; no D2L2;
just a chance to enjoy this time of Noel.
And my wish for you is you feel the same too, and make the most of the holidays remaining.
Of course you realize this (mostly) fiction and is all in fun.
1Banner is the grades reporting system used at Memorial University.
2D2L is short for Desire2Learn, which is the Learning Management System used at Memorial for online course access.